WTF Statuses

If the chemical symbol for water is H2O... is the chemical symbol for holy water H2Omg?

I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.

There is nothing more terrifying than sneezing while driving.

I don't think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.

I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.

I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would've love the fertilizer.

If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.