Jon
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed a bottle of food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Cyberbilly
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I'm healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to describe me.
People who try to test my patience don't realize it's an exam I don't plan on passing.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
Saturday mornings without cartoons is now officially called "Sadurday"
Starbucks is planning on selling beer and wine. It's getting difficult to sell sober people a $10 cup of coffee.
If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they'd leave that one on too.