Xyuppi
There's a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.
Xyuppi
I should win an Oscar for acting like I'm busy at work.
Xyuppi
It's a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn't!
Xyuppi
You should always give your wine room to breathe. If you notice it's not breathing, place your lips on the bottle and administer mouth to mouth.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
I should have told my wife I was referring to her memory BEFORE comparing her to an elephant.
If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?