Jon
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
Xyuppi
Whenever someone says, "that's what she said", I like to reply with, "not to you"
Xyuppi
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
Xyuppi
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't flick your friends out the car window
Xyuppi
I have a lot of imaginary friends. They are real people, I just have to pretend they are my friends.
If you're confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
Xyuppi
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl's purse is when it doesn't match what I'm wearing.