WTF Statuses

I'm starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.

I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."

I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

Last night I went to a testicular cancer survivor party. Everyone had a ball.

Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.

I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.

If men could choose the gender of their unborn children, the human race would die out in a single generation. But we'd get a few decades of incredible football.