WTF Statuses

Cashiers are always checking me out.

I'm willing to bet very few women would appreciate the humor of giving birth on Labor Day, ya know, at the time.

Until public restrooms have automatic doors, the automatic sinks, soap and paper towel dispenser will make no sense to me.

I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car.

You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.

I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I'd be irresponsible too.

The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.