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#13606
I just want to find that special somebody to stare at my phone with.
Funny
43
Insightful
6
WTF?
8
GTFO!
21
#13607
Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
Funny
33
Insightful
1
WTF?
8
GTFO!
19
#13608
Fish out of water is a strange phrase because it's almost never used to describe someone dying.
Funny
28
Insightful
7
WTF?
17
GTFO!
31
#13609
Sometimes I just want to go where all the missing socks go.
Funny
52
Insightful
3
WTF?
13
GTFO!
32
#13610
If we elect Donald Trump president, there will be hell toupee.
Funny
39
Insightful
13
WTF?
11
GTFO!
49
#13611
I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them.
Funny
30
Insightful
9
WTF?
11
GTFO!
16
#13612
Push yourself. Do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat an entire cake instead of juse one piece. Burn your ex's house down. I believe in you!
Funny
67
Insightful
12
WTF?
20
GTFO!
27
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