Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really terrible holiday.
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
On a scale of 1 to Nature Valley granola bar, how much is your life falling apart?
To all you guys who call me boring, at least the police say I'm "a person of interest".
Novell
There should be a calorie refund for things that didn’t taste as good as you expected.
Novell
I can't imagine a better slogan for a glasses company than, "Buy our glasses if you ever want to see your children again."
Cyberbilly
Going back onto work for the first time after vacation is like running into someone you once knew who you never really liked anyway.