Novell
Marriage is like the IKEA of relationships. Easy to walk into, confusing to piece together and difficult to exit.
My wife and I found each other on a dating website, 3 years after we got married... That was awkward.
My cheat day is tomorrow so I'm considering just going to bed now at 4pm
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
Novell
My wife, like many women, looks for security in a man. In fact the first thing she said when I first approached her was, "Security!"
Novell
I like wearing glasses because I like to dramatically remove them before I say something profound. Doing that with contacts doesn't have the same effect.
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...