WTF Statuses

I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.

If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.

Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.

Why isn’t a restaurant that serves soup called a "brothel?"

Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?

Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.

I’ll rise, but I won’t shine.