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#12256
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Novell
If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!
I like to think I've taught Capital One a valuable lesson about handing out credit cards to just anybody.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
#12259
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Novell
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either
#12260
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Novell
Apparently, the average person looks at their phone 150 times a day. Not me. I look at it just once. For about 12 hours.
#12261
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Novell
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy.
#12262
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Novell
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
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