WTF Statuses

Studies show that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.

I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.

Calm down, different flavored Oreos. Nobody wants to make that kind of decision. Regular or Double stuff was hard enough.

I was visited by a jolly fat guy over the holidays with a bag over his shoulder, no not Santa, my brother came home from college with his laundry

I lost my dog yesterday, i want to put up some ads and flyers but he cant even read!

I named my car "flattery" because it gets me no where.

Do receptionists at sperm banks ever say "Thanks for coming"?