Novell
I told Santa what I wanted for Christmas and he washed my mouth out with soap.
Novell
I would pick up a hitchhiker wearing an “I Heart Murder” t-shirt before I’d pick up a call from a blocked number.
Novell
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I've never been so mad that I pee'd myself.
Novell
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
If I was the guy that made Where’s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn’t there.