I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
The holiday season is a time for family…but let’s try to enjoy it anyway.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
I listen to the first 30 seconds of an accidental butt dial like I'm in an FBI surveillance van.
For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.
Sean Comer
Today was really bad, like having a prostate exam from a leper proctologist walking away with 9 fingers...
It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...