Carpe Scrotum (grab life by the balls)
Novell
Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you’ll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it though.
Novell
There’s a thin line between “I should post that to Facebook” and “I should talk to a therapist about that.
Is it hibernation time yet?
I didn’t give you the finger. You earned it.