WTF Statuses

Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful.
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don't leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
With all the horrors and tragedies in the US it's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground...
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
If you robbed a kissing booth you'd make out like a bandit
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