You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon.
I've made a business of selling prayer mats on top of landmines. Prophets are going through the roof.
Always make sure to tell your wife you are going to the hardware store before walking out the door saying "gonna go get some trim"...
Novell
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser
Man boobs are awesome! Why commas are important.
I took my youngest daughter to the grocery store the other day to get some basics. We walked down the aisle with all the vegetable oils etc and she noticed olive oil. She asked me what Extra Virgin Olive Oil meant. I said it meant that they made the oil from really ugly olives.
I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it.