I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
Cris
No thanks, marriage. If I want to never get laid, I'll just start wearing crocs.
Amigo
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
Dance like nobody is watching! because they're not...they're checking their phone.
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd love to bring a guest.
Amigo
Single white sock seeks same.
Amigo
Somebody just asked me if I knew a good plastic surgeon. Would I look like this if I did?