Amigo
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great.
No matter how old I am, when i am eating a bag of Bugles, I will never be mature enough to not put them on my fingertips and make claws.
Amigo
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don’t make a right! Tomorrow I’m going to try three.
Amigo
My train of thought is loco, no motive
Amigo
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Amigo
Flies only live for 24 hours. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those bastards live forever.
Note to self... next time my wife asks what's on tv, don't say dust