Amigo
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
Amigo
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
Amigo
This polo shirt has two buttoning options: Uptight golf prick or disco chest hair.
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
Amigo
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
Amigo
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
Amigo
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. "Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you."