WTF Statuses

Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.

I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. White – Good condition – Reliable – Cheap – No evidence of rear end damage. Must See

I finally met a woman my mother likes. She acts like my mother , talks like her, and even has similar looks. My father doesn't like her.

Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.

People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.

Canada is located right next to the country with all the guns and bombs. Of course Canadians are polite.

Taco Bell gift cards are a great idea. People can get food & gas all at the same time.