Amigo
Why do single women take advice from other single women? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.
According to WebMD, I'm sick and tired of people.
Even as little kids we knew about STDs. We just called them Cooties.
Id like to go to sleep but the light from my cell phone laptop and tablet are keeping me up.
Amigo
I don’t drink to forget about problems. I drink to create new problems that that make the old issues irrelevant.
Amigo
Dogs are tough. I’ve been interrogating this one for hours and he still won’t tell me who is a good boy.
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like the ghosts from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.