WTF Statuses

Looks like Walgreens is gonna be Christmas for Halloween.
If you've had your name called over the PA system at a grocery store, you're now famous enough to compete on Dancing with the Stars.
Feel free to use the "or less" feature of your 140 characters.
I don't get it, no matter how many times I call shotgun the cops still put me in the back of the car.
Cocaine dealers are always sticking their business in other people's noses.
Saw a baby so that ugly it looked like Godzilla. It was a face only a Mothra could love.
I'd start watching the news, but I feel like I'd be lost if I didn't begin with episode 1.
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