Amigo
My bank just called me because of suspicious activity on my debit card. They couldn't believe I bought a gym membership.
If ninjas are supposed to be so super stealthy, why do they bother wearing a mask?
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
Camping is fun if you're into pretending that you're homeless.
In the South, they remove the 'g' from the end of most words. Just sayin'.
Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
There's no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.