WTF Statuses

If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
#6404
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Cyberbilly
Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
Sorry, I didn't recognize you without your Instagram filter.
Me: Where can I find the milk? Her: Sir, this is a library. Me: *whispers* Sorry, where can I find the milk?
#6407
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Cyberbilly
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince.
#6408
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Cyberbilly
Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
My foot’s not just asleep it's outright coma toes
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