WTF Statuses

I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
My parents always told me to never give up on my dreams. That's probably why I typically sleep past noon.
Enjoy the Twitter IPO. I'm hitting up the MySpace yard sale.
Parking should be more fun considering it's basically real life Tetris.
The way my dog acts, you'd think their entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
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