Terry Burcham
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...
Michael Mendoza
A lot of kids were upset when they found out Santa was not real, I was more creeped out the fact my parents made me take a picture sitting on a strangers lap and kept it for years.
Me: 'I really can't stay'. Bed: 'But baby, it's cold outside'.
Chris Brown's next single will be released before he is.
A garbage disposal is just a device for finishing off all the food no one else in the house will eat.
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure and that I'd want it if there was.
The ending of Free Willy is awesome, unless you're a seal. Then it's basically like a serial killer jumping into your house.