If you think you are unattractive just remember you look like your ancestors and hey all of them got laid
Anger is just passion having a bad hair day.
Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second rule has now been increased to 10.
I'm starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
The only bad thing about my seven figure salary is that it includes a decimal point.
College Football Logic: Your team won: Celebrate with beers! Your team lost: Better drown my sorrows in some beer.