There are two kinds of people I don't trust. Schizophrenics.
Those of you who complain constantly about Facebook but never log off must be tons of fun at parties.
I’m on this new diet called the stomach flu. I’m never hungry! And the weight is pouring off, I mean out of me.
I hate it when I don't like a picture on Facebook and wake up in hell the next day.
The iPhone 5c, named after the hourly pay rate of its assemblers.
It's okay to skip leg day as long as you skip all the other days too
The internet at my house stopped working. I called my service provider but the number is no longer working. When I looked out the window, I notice my neighbors were moving. I guess that explains it!