I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
Every time I hear Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher," I can't help but hope he wasn't home schooled.
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
Being in the Friend Zone is like an employer turning you down for a job, then calling regularly, bitching about the person they hired.
If vampires can't see themselves in mirrors, how do they trim those perfect goatees?
I've just been accused of being 'a plagiarist'! Their words, not mine.
Cyberbilly
It's funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my evenings in the front yard treating it with weed killer.