I get as much action as a white crayon.
For every photo a girl posts of herself, there are 27 others in the exact same pose that weren't quite good enough.
Toilet paper is a perfect example of how "you don't know what you got 'til it's gone."
This new shampoo I'm using smells like they forgot to put the "sham" in it...
I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I'm not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Okay let's be honest. The only thing worse than seeing a spider in your house, is losing a spider in your house.