Cyberbilly
My wife and I do it doggie style. I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.
Sometimes, when I'm cleaning my cat's litter box, I like to pretend that I'm just an incredibly unlucky gold panner from the 1800's.
Did you hear about the Australian who received a new boomerang for his birthday? He spent a week trying to throw the old one away.
Whenever I see hitchhikers, I just pretend they're telling me that I'm doing a great job driving.
I desperately need a "hide political posts" button on Facebook so I can still like all my friends after the election year is over.
Botox is amazing. You never age, yet you appear completely lifeless.
"Always leave them wanting more" is my standard approach to paying bills.