So I won a contest. The prize was a year supply of calenders.
I hate it when I'm singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
The saying "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away" is such a lie! If you have braces and eat an apple, you end up at the dentist the next day 'cause of a broken bracket.
Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
Starbucks at 8am closely resembles the waiting room at a methadone clinic.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
Before Drake started saying YOLO did you guys think you could live twice or something?