I just heard a woodpecker call me a 'paranoid old weirdo' in morse code.
My wife opened a nice bottle of wine last night to let it breathe, but it wasn't, so I gave it mouth-to-mouth.
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
My doctor checked my fitness level and said I was getting atrophy. Where should I put it? I never got a fitness award before!
What do you get the person who has everything? A round of aggressive antibiotics is probably a good place to start.
Cyberbilly
The Christmas economy depends on people buying possessions to celebrate the birthday of a man who denounced possessions.
Cyberbilly
My Smart Phone has more computing power than NASA did in 1969 and they went to the moon. All I do is play Angry Birds. Yes, I'm an underachiever.