alarm clocks: because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
My wife said she needed some "alone time". So I made her a Myspace account.
My psychic friend just thanked me for his surprise birthday party. Looks like I'll have to plan one now.
There should be an eject button in my car for people who touch my perfectly positioned vents.
I was eating my daily apple and a doctor walked right up to me... My whole life has been a lie.
I stopped believing for just a few minutes. Now Journey is all pissed at me.
If someone's Facebook picture is a car, should I assume that they are a transformer?