With the amount of people who hide their identity online you'd think this place is rampant with superheroes.
I hate taking girls to eat at Subway, when they get their six inch sub they look at me and instantly know I've been lying to them.
My kid asked me today when her boobs would come in. I told her with her genes it'll be when she has $5000.
Can you just keep putting cheese on this salad until it becomes a pizza?
Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants!
Craft time with the kids. One just ate enough glitter to crap a Lady Gaga costume.
I'm happier than Paula Deen in a hot tub full of butter.