WTF Statuses

I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror.

Why is it that in girl tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing? Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws & burning crap down?

I don't have a dirty mind. I have a sexy imagination.

I'm 16 and a virgin, where's my show?

I just don't get you people who prefer the cold over the heat. The best times of my life are spent being hot, sweaty, and naked. Not cold, shivering, and bundled up.

Roses are read Violets aren't blue The original poem was incorrect So I fixed it for you

I don't trip, I do random gravity checks.