When snorting Coke, be careful. It is extremely difficult to get an ice cube out of a nose.
Michael Mendoza
If a person is born deaf, what language do they think in?
The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains". Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever!
Be a pessimist, you're always either right or pleasantly surprised.
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
These animal crackers suck the elephant tasted exactly like the giraffe!
Apparently, Twilight is “so popular” because teenagers can relate to it. “Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a Vampire."