The Kardashian jokes have already lasted longer than their marriage did.
keep getting mixed up between claustrophobia and homophobia. Which is the one about being in the closet?
A Prius tried to race me from a stop sign the other day. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
Cyberbilly
My wife looked at me out in the yard and said “I didn’t know you could Moon Walk.” I said “I can’t. I’m trying to get the dog poop off my shoes.”
Cyberbilly
A man came knocking on the door the other day asking for donations to the Old Folks Home. So I gave him my grandmother.
Cyberbilly
The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Cyberbilly
If you like to have sex while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.