"You're one in a million" means that there are over 6,000 people just like you.
Everyone please be courteous and set your cell phones to lebron mode, no ring
Toilet paper is a lot like money... You never seem to have any when you need it most!
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Santa goes to your house, down your chimney, and watches you while you sleep and everyone adores him. But I do it ONE time...
Saying, "we can still be friends" after a bad break up is like saying, "the dog died but we can still keep it."
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy...