Monkeys made it to space before we did without even trying.
Xyuppi
Was shopping online at Walmart this morning and got pepper-sprayed.
Having sex while listening to music would have been a lot more awkward in the 1500's.
I knew I was going bald when it took longer and longer to wash my face.
Today sucks more than a tyrannosaurus fielding ground balls.
Pardon me, waiter- what is "pasto" and why is your Italian appetizer menu so staunchly against it?
My dog just broke a mirror. Poor bastard. Forty-nine years of bad luck.