I wish there was a way to get a restraining order against Mondays.
English teachers put more thought into novels than the authors do.
For all those who answer "how's it goin?" with "can't complain", please review your Facebook statuses
If I want something done right, the LAST thing I would do is do it myself.
Don't feel like typing a long response to an email? Write a short one and then add "Sent from my iPhone"
I wonder who is harder to find, Waldo or the father of Snooki's child?
Based on US obesity rates, soon people will walk for president.