WTF Statuses

Some of you people would be better off on a site called TwoFacedBook instead.
Why is it alcohol can kill brain cells but, not fat cells?
Don't yell at your kids. Lean in and whisper. It's much scarier.
All you ever need to know about the difference between men and women is that women can and do describe shoes as "fun."
We're all so mature until a friend comes along with bubble wrap.
What would happen to Pinocchio's nose if he said, "My nose will now grow"?
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
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