I can see my breath today. Which means it's either cold out here or I need a better mouthwash.
Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
I don't care who let the cat out of the bag. I'd like to know who got a cat INTO a bag, ever.
My chiropractor said I needed a posture alignment but I think she was just pulling my leg.
Energy saving light bulbs are great for when you want to turn on the lights but continue standing in the dark a few more minutes.
I'm secretly recording all of my classes this week and I'm going to sell them on Etsy as a natural sleep aid.
Parents tell you not to talk to strangers but encourage you to make friends.