WTF Statuses

Ever been hit on by a gay guy with downs syndrome? I have. Just now.
It doesn't have a dong in it, that's just the sound that it makes
Actual male human just asked if he could lick the bottom of my shoes. I mean, I know they're Charlotte Olympias but WHOA.
My Words With Friends game w/my mom always pops up when I'm 'mobile-masturbating.' It's like she knows??
Just farted in the bath and nearly drowned trying to smell it!!!!
Free watermelon when you apply for a walmart credit card... I have no words
a monkey sucking penis is funny in every language!
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