Does this red Solo cup full of beer make me look frat?
I went to the bookstore to buy "Where's Waldo?" I looked all over the store and couldn't find it....Well played Waldo, Well played.
They say there are plenty more fish in the sea... but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
If Twitter's taught me anything it's that anyone who says they want to sleep with me is probably a spambot.
Whenever somebody tells me a knock-knock joke, I sit there quietly and pretend that I'm not home until they leave.
It's so annoying when I'm about to take a great photo and somebody calls my camera.
I smashed open my piggy bank earlier. I've got just about enough in it to buy a new piggy bank.