Beauty is only skin deep but that's ok because my eyes can't see any farther than that.
Alice in Wonderland without hesitation drank a bottle labeled "Drink Me" leading me to believe she'd be very popular at frat parties.
I'm actually glad my boyfriend dumped me. Now, I'm hooking up with 2 guys... Ben & Jerry.
I think it's only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
They should make condoms that change color when they come in contact with STDs
Tim Tebow has come from behind more than Tiger Woods at the Orlando Hooter's Christmas party.
Santa's creepiness factor would rise dramatically if he laughed instead with a "hee, hee, hee."