Silly phone, that wasn't a "missed" call. That was a "looked and saw who it was and pressed ignore" call.
When you tell someone that they're extraordinary, does it mean that they're extra ordinary? Kind of like saying: You're really mediocre!
When I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they’re panicked over who’s getting cut from the team.
Didn't get much sleep last night, so this morning I put Red Bull in my coffee maker instead of water. Now I can see noises.
Some girls are tan and others look like they went face first into a bag of Cheetos.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.