Microsoft sounds like the nickname for my ex boyfriend.
My Christmas tree was too big for the car so I had to cut the top off. It wasn't so bad. I always wanted a convertible anyway.
I wish someone would name a beer "The Mondays." That way whenever someone said they have a case of the Mondays it would be a good thing.
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Perhaps Voldermort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
My kids have my wife's hair. The shower drain has mine.