I lol'd. = I laugh out louded.
I either just saw a girl with a mustache, or a guy who looked like a girl....with a mustache.
Remember when someone following you was bad?
Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.
She has a body like baywatch but a face like crime watch.
Facebook makes high school reunions awkward. Hey, I haven't seen you 20 years. So how was that nap you took this afternoon?
If you want to take a bank teller out on a date, just ask her. Don't slip her a note at the window. Trust me on this.